I'm too focused

So, multiplayer is pretty big in the gaming world.  It started with co-op with the likes of Donkey Kong Country and Secret of Mana.

When you have to fight Squirrels with Bow and Arrows, it is truly a great game.

Now it has evolved into split-screen and online gaming.  Now, I personally enjoy the art of split screen multiplayer because it means that you actually have physical friends and can yell at them when they kill you, steal your kill, hit you with a red shell, etc.  However, even though we are playing on the same television, it does not mean I am watching you play.

There have been multiple times wherein I am playing a game with somebody and the question, "Did you see that!?" escapes their lips.  Well, no, I did not see that.  That is because I was too busy watching my own screen to make sure I didn't careen off a cliff.

Or maybe I had to hit a giant spiked turtle while narrowly avoiding jumping gophers.

The only reason people ask you this question is because they did something awesome.  I am all for people doing awesome things within video games.  Hell, that's why we play video games, to do awesome things we could never do in real life.

Though, I do regularly fly around Big Ben with famous Disney characters.

The problem being that when you say you did something awesome I then have to look at your screen, therein-by taking my eyes off of my own.  That is when my character wishes they had a better master controller, because generally something awful befalls them.  Whether that means they go off a cliff, accidentally hit a banana peel, or get killed and then tea-bagged, something happens.

However, there are some games where the question, "Did you see that!?" can actually be uttered.  Games such as Super Smash Bros. Brawl are perfectly acceptable areas to watch other characters.  This is because it is not split screen, but rather one screen, and you are watching everybody, just to see when you can make your mark and destroy them.  Yes, I did see your awesome grab...too bad it was on me and now I'm out of the tournament.  Jerk.

Ok, this has been one mediocre rant, but at least it's getting somewhere.  Next time you play a game with someone, don't distract them with meaningless questions.  Video game characters don't like to be killed.

And they definitely don't like to be tea-bagged.

The Legend of.....Link?

There has been much confusion over the years that the main character in the Legend of Zelda series is Zelda. While this may be obviously untrue to me, there are

others who are quite unaware.

This is not Zelda, this is Link.

This is Zelda. Very different (note the vagina).

So, why is there this confusion? Because of the name of the game, and the fact that Links name is never really stated within said game. Granted, Link is the code to unlock the super-amped mode of the original Legend of Zelda game. It is also because you get to name the hero of time as whatever you wish, which is generally your own name.

However, what is in a name? Link? It means, pretty much, to connect two (or more) things together. Such as a chain link, of cuff links, or....sex links? I don't think that last one exists really. But, if somebody invented something that links two sexes together, then they would make a bunch of money.

Eh, Maybe not...

Tangents aside, why would this character, this Adonis of the Hyrulian nature, be named link? Could it be the fact that he is the only person to be connected and traverse through both the light and the dark
worlds?

HOLY CRAP!!!!

There you have it. If you actually think about what is happening in the game you can easily tell

that Zelda is a ridiculous name for the protagonist (although Zelda is also a chick's name, which Link

totally is not). Link, it's simple and to the point. That's all. Nerd rant.

Mario's Firsts

So, I have this blog. It sits here, frequently not updated. What to do with it? Why not do something nerdy. We have all seen those dumb quizzes that everybody secretly loves to do on Facebook, which shows off how Narcissistic everybody is. So, why not do one for the most recognized video game character of all time, Mario. Well, luckily, I have been in contact with him and here are his answers for the FIRST things of his life.

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It's-a my firsts!!!!


1. Who was your FIRST prom date? Pauline. But, she ended up preferring muscular, hairy guys.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love? Not really. I'm all about the Peach these days.

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink? a 1UP! It brought me new life.

4. What was your FIRST job? I worked for my dad's plumbing company in high school, and eventually took it over. Although, I recently gave it to my brother, Luigi, who has incorporated vacuuming people's houses into it. That guy is a marketing genius.

5. What was your FIRST car? Well, technically my first car was Yoshi. Which was nice, because food costs a lot less than gas these days.

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today? Wario. He found a new restaurant that specializes in garlic. Wants me to check it out.....doubtful. lol.

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning? Peach. I always wake up wondering, "Did she get kidnapped again?"

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher? Mr. Pong. He lead the way for me and my friends.

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane? An exotic island. Although Bowser Jr. was impersonating me and putting graffiti on EVERYTHING!!!!1 I had to clean up his mess...as well as him. LOL!

10. Who was your FIRST best friend and are you still friends with them? My Bro, Luigi. We are still really close.

11. What was your FIRST sport played? Reffing boxing matches. Although, golf was technically my first....unless you count go-kart racing. although, nobody cares about nascar today. Rofl.

12. Where was your FIRST sleep over? This mansion that Luigi won. Needless to say, I will not be going back....

13. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today? Toad. Making sure he's keeping Peach inside the castle.

14. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time? Mine. Although, it didn't end too well. the flower girl set everything on fire.

15. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning? Poured myself a nice cup of coffee. With some star cream.

16. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to? Koji Kondo. His mucis is sooooooooooo AMAZING! I set my LIFE to his music!!!1! Check it out now!!!

17. FIRST tattoo or piercing? ......I don't wanna talk about it....

18. FIRST foreign country you went to? U.S.A. They're kinda crazy over there. Although, they're not as obsessed with me as they are in my home-country of Japan.

19. What was your FIRST run in with the law? Psh, I AM the law. Fools!

20. When was your FIRST detention? 10th grade. I gave my teacher a plant....which grew and ended up biting them in the butt. Literally.

21. What was the FIRST state you lived in? Well, I'm not from the U.S. So, Honshu. Although, when I moved over to the states I first lived in NY.

22. Who was the FIRST person to break your heart? Pauline.....ungrateful bitch....

23. Who was your FIRST roommate? Luigi. Although, that was just cause we grew up together. In college I roomed with Wario.....HORRIBLE time! It smelled awful!!

24. Where did you go on your FIRST limo ride? To Mushroom Kingdom. I did just save their princess!!!

25. Who will be the FIRST to repost this? I dunno. Probably Waluigi. He's so full of himself.


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Well, there ya go. I know you all have been curious about Mario's firsts. Who will do a quiz next? WHO KNOWS!? You will just have to tune in and find out!

Not My Job Anymore

Well, I just sent off my application for the JET Program. It is out of my hands and is now up to fate. I wrote the best Statement of Purpose that I could, and it is not bad at all. However, now that it is out of my hands I feel a strange sense of relief and anxiety. Perhaps it is because that bulging envelope that is now sitting at the Chico Post Office, waiting to be sent off to Washington D.C., is the single most important thing I have ever sent off in the mail ever. In fact, it is the most important thing I have ever completed ever. My future as a person, in the real world, depends on that application.

To Japan, or not to Japan, that is the question.

I have no clue how long I will have to wait for a response. Perhaps not until January, perhaps December. It had to be there by November 24th, so I assume it may take a while to get through ALL of the applications they receive. I really hope I get in. That would be exciting. Seriously. It would.

I just hope the examiners don't find this blog and find out that I wrote a sentence with only one word in it.

Seriously.

The Essay for Japan

So, here I am. TV is on, stumbling through the internet has commenced, and on the bottom of my screen is my essay that may or may not let me go to Japan for a year. It is at this time when I truly wish my brain worked better. English has never been my strongest subject, but at the same time it has not been my worst (curse you science!). Every word I type on the screen I immediately regret and highlight and replace with something else which I once again highlight and replace with something else.
I have to write about what kind of experience I have that will help me teach English to students. This is tricky since I have never taught a language to anybody ever. So, what am I doing? Talking about how I have taught improv to many people throughout the years and how I have an understanding of the English language that most people don't because I have studied, extensively, how to properly speak to a group of strangers and get my point across. Because, that is what acting is. I bring up my vocal training and whatnot as pieces of information that is perfect to use in a classroom setting.
However, no matter how much I try to justify why I should be picked for this program, it is ultimately their decision as to whether or not I join them. I want to go to Japan, a lot. This is a great way to get money and be in Japan instead of being in Japan and spending money.
Well, back to my essay. Luckily it is only supposed to be 2 pages, double-spaced, so they will have very little to criticize.

Welcome

So, I was originally going to have this blog be about reviewing anything and everything I wanted to. However, I never have the urge to review anything. SO! This will be a blog about whatever I feel like talking about. Right now, that is nothing. So, this is the intro blog. I have thereby introduced myself...kinda. Now, let the following of this blog commence!

Ok, maybe not.

This will be updated whenever.

blha blha blah